Raising Eyebrows
by The Periodic Table of Converse
Summary: Fitting in is an art... one that the Flock has yet to master. / "It's stupid when you think about it, that I could ever pass for a normal teenage girl." / Max is less than happy with Fang's attempt at blending. Rated K plus. One-shot, subject to change. I ship FAX. Jealous!Max, Embarrassed!Lissa, and Gazzy/Iggy!Amused Bystanders. Previously Rebellious Goody Two-Shoes


**Raising Eyebrows**

"_**You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars."**_

**-****Gary Allan**

-MAX-

It's stupid when you think about it, that I could ever pass for a normal teenage girl with normal teenage friends and normal annoying siblings. And yet, in the three months we'd spent here, the only criteria missing is the obnoxious family.

Well, I guess Fang and Iggy could fall under that category. And maybe sometimes Nudge. And Gazzy after Anne's brought home Mexican… or pizza… or bacon. (So basically, Gazzy after a meal.)

I'm personally surprised that nobody's noticed something is off about us yet. So, for that reason, I'm going to zoom in on the number one thorn in my side at the moment: that skank, Lissa. Yes, the ever-so-lovely girlfriend of my best friend and right hand man, Fang. Her and her long swishy red hair and bright green eyes and doe like innocence are starting to get on my nerves. (Read, I hate her stinking slimy fish guts to all nine circles of Hell.)

Maybe I wouldn't dislike her so much if maybe she would detract her claws from poor Fang's injured body every once in a while. Actually, if she could take a nice long swim in a shark feeding ground, I would probably like her a whole lot more. Maybe even enough to not laugh at her funeral… If I even went.

But she's intent on sticking it to Fang, so I'm perfectly happy hating her with everything in me, and making faces at her behind Fang's back. Aha, my life sucks and rules at the same time.

My life and I have a love/hate relationship.

Fang is upstairs with the Red Haired Wonder, probably kissing her like he kissed her all those months ago in that classroom while I tried not to cry in the bathroom.

Did I say cry? I meant freak out because somebody else is getting close to our secret. Hopefully Fang isn't intoxicated by Miss Wonderful so much that one of their little make-out scenes ends with his obsidian colored shirt on the floor and his equally obsidian colored wings on display for Blabber-Mouth McPopular to see them in all of their feathery glory.

Her weapon of choice is the cellphone, and believe me: she wields that thing like a connoisseur. Seriously. Stand down when she has that thing in her hand.

Fang says he really likes her, and Nudge thinks their relationship is the best thing since food that doesn't come from the garbage can. Especially sliced bread that doesn't come from the garbage can. I would personally rather be dumpster-diving than watching one of their fluffy moments where Fang is hugging Lissa from behind or when Lissa is leaning her head on his shoulder. Yech, romance.

Angel isn't that involved in their love lives either. She just occasionally looks up at me with this weird look on her face when Lissa is around. I just really hope she's not still on that whole, "Fang loves you Max," BS. Believe me, it's freaky mumbo-jumbo.

As far as I can tell, Gazzy and Iggy are pretty indifferent to the whole thing as well. It's like they don't even know Lissa exists unless she's the newest target for their test runs. I know I told them no human test trials, but hey! You gotta be willing to take life-threatening risks for scientific advancement to occur. At least, I hope they're life-threatening.

Maybe Lissa can still go to the big School down there after all!

-O-

"Yo Iggy, where's the syrup?" Gazzy barks from the bar stool of Anne's nice big counter. A large plate of double chocolate chip pancakes is parked in front of the violent and maniac eight-year-old. This is weird because it's four in the afternoon, but hey. We're talking about the Gasser here. Iggy deftly reaches behind him and plucks two bottles from the open refrigerator. I still have no clue how he does that.

"Do you want the strawberry or the regular?" He asks, holding the correct bottle up when he says its name. Gazzy contemplates this carefully, because choosing your syrup is an important decision. Wouldn't want to make a mistake. Like, what if he accidently used maple when he wanted strawberry? Forget saving the world, I should just make sure everybody's satisfied with their syrup options.

"Gimme 'em both." He compromises, an accomplished expression on his face. Iggy slides the condiments down the countertop where Gazzy snatches them up and proceeds to coat his afternoon breakfast in sugar and calories. I would probably be concerned about that if we didn't need nearly ten thousand calories a day. That and I lost all energy to care once the Red Haired Demon started showing her ugly face around here, sucking the life out of everything with her cheery personality.

I watch the two discuss their newest plans on how to effectively dive-bomb Lissa with their newest stink-bomb, which, according to them, is triple the smell and double the lifespan. With any luck on my side, they'll manage to lob it right in her ugly face. Then I'll have a legitimate reason to kick her out.

Fang saunters in just then, head ducked down slightly and his hands stuffed in his pockets. Lissa is trailing behind him, a strawberry colored blush powdering her cheeks and her backpack slung over one shoulder. Papers stick up through the opening; the zipper is halfway closed. Oh yeah. And Fang's shirt is a little rumpled.

"So…" Iggy says, long and awkwardly. "What were you doing?" He may not know that Fang's shirt looks like it was stirred around a little bit, but don't rule him out just yet. Out of the six members of the Flock, nobody has hearing better than Iggy.

I like what happens after that, because Lissa's face goes from light pink to the color of Mars: bright red. Her fingers move on their own, fiddling with the hem of her white blouse, running though her hair, smoothing out the wrinkled pleats in her skirts. She's very uncomfortable around us, 'Nick's siblings', I notice with a smirk, and cross my arms over my chest because I'm in charge here and the RHW _should_ be freaking out when I'm around.

Or she realized that we all know who was making out upstairs in the bedroom down the hall from Angel's room, of all people.

I honestly hope it's both of them. It's times like now I actually wish I could do that Eraser transformation, scare her off, maybe make her check into an asylum.

"Studying." Fang states easily, like he's been rehearsing it so it won't come out tinged with humiliation or guilt… Except that Fang never sounds embarrassed or guilty. Just indifferent.

"Right, there's this really big history test tomorrow, and we thought it would be a good idea to go over the material." Lissa agrees, but she can't lie like we can. First, she answered too fast, second, she's got too much nervous energy and third, we all know that they were not studying, and she knows it too.

"Jeff and I are in the same grade as you guys, which means any test you take means we'll be taking it too. Why didn't you invite us? Last I checked, Nick knew that I failed the last one and told me to do better next time." I retort, and I can practically hear him rolling his eyes. He's digging through the fridge, which means he left Lissa alone to deal with us. Perfect.

"Oh, well, um…" She stutters, face the color of a ripened tomato. It's funny how bright she is, like a Christmas bulb caught on fire or something. "I didn't even think about, you know… asking you. I thought you didn't care if you got bad grades." She fibs, terribly might I add. I think she takes victory in her little lie though, because from her victorious expression she thinks she just sassed me. Ha, no.

"But Nick will be so disappointed if I don't get an 'A' on this test. Anne told us that Nick had to spend all his free time tutoring the next person who failed." I say flippantly, and from where Iggy's perched on the counter, hanging on our conversation like his life depends on it, he sniggers. He and the Gasman high-five and whoop enthusiastically, and Lissa's face gets even redder. I wonder how much more it will take before she bursts.

"Oh, erm… well…" She's speechless because, for all she knows, thanks to her stupid mistake of not inviting me to their fake study date, she might be losing precious Nick until I bring my grades up, and let's be honest here: that's never going to happen. It's about as likely as the School closing down or Itex realizing the error of their ways.

Still, Lissa believes me and that's all I need. By now Fang is done rooting around for his third mid-afternoon snack, and is standing next to Lissa. He ignores me, save for a vicious sideways glare that I brush off like it's a fly, and turns to his humiliated girlfriend.

"I'll walk you out." He tells her and she nods gratefully. Fang leaves the room to put on his shoes and I know he won't just be walking her out, he'll be walking her home. Lissa looks really uncomfortable standing there when 'Nick' isn't even in the room.

I smile at her.

"Don't worry. We all know there's no test tomorrow." I never knew the human face could go from that shade of scarlet to practically white as a bed sheet in less than a second. The more you know!

Iggy stares at her with his blank eyes and she looks away, biting her lip, gazing at the tile like it's the most interesting thing he's ever seen. Except it's not, because Anne decided on it and it's freaking butt-ugly. I'll have to thank Iggy for staring at her and Anne for the tile later.

Of course, I go for the grand finale:

When Fang returns and Lissa is about to walk out of the room, I call after them, "Keep it down next time! Iggy's hearing is double that of a normal person's, and he really sucks at commentary!"

No doubt her face has gone from milk white back to a deep shade of crimson.

_**Fin.**_

**A/N: So…? How was it? I really like this, probably because I get to bash Lissa to my heart's content in it! Reviews are welcome. I was thinking maybe I could do five other segments, focusing on the rest of the Flock, but I dunno… I'd need a bunch of motivation for that to happen. ;)**

_**Hint, hint.**_


End file.
